Tool for HeartConnexion^® Living

Tool: Practice Holy Re-membering

The power of remembering is fascinating. We have incredible capacity to remember past experiences that wounded our soul and left us feeling less-than-enough. We may have tried minimizing the wound, denying it's existence, raging at the injustice of being hurt or living defensively out of fear that it will happen again. Do you have any problem remembering your failures? Far too many times the goals we set are either too vague to know if we made it or they are so high that reaching them is nearly impossible. If your memory is like mine, it is easier to remember the times of failing to achieve a goal than to recall a goal that was accomplished. It is easy to dismiss success as just good luck. Have you brushed aside memories of an achievement by thinking, "It must not have been hard enough to really count since I reached it?"

Remembering unholy (or un-wholely) life experiences is far too easy for most of us. On the other hand, positive memories about experiencing grace, about being told that we are incredibly valuable and those times when we accepted our personal empowerment can disappear almost immediately through Unholy Remembering. But incredible power is found in intentionally practicing Holy Remembering.

A BT alumni discovered the power of Holy Remembering and shared with his group:

I woke up Sunday AM … without any energy. But I decided that I was going to church, even if it was the only thing I accomplished all day. Although I cannot remember exactly what triggered it, something in the sermon took me back to the many affirmations that I had received from you in BT. Suddenly I realized that not only had God not abandoned me, but my BT family was in my heart...you were all there with me this morning. And I am grateful to you all! I don't know how many times I've heard "the process is never over." Well, I can tell you, "hearts touching hearts" is never over either. And you didn't even have to be there physically! I just want to thank you all for touching my heart this morning, when I needed it so badly!

I had to congratulate him for sharing his experience:

As powerful as finding meaning through heart connections with others is at the time it happens, remembering the experience is a tool we can intentionally use to remind ourselves of the gifts others see in us. Remembering is a core purpose of attending church and participating in its liturgy (formal or informal). Part of the HeartConnexion liturgy is listening again to some of the BT music, remembering the gifts shared with us and gathering with our friends to retell the stories of surviving BT. Call it Holy Remembering! There is power in connecting with the Holy that is mediated through the affirmations of others and that power is more than momentary. It is just as available when we reconnect with it through remembering the blessings. If the bad of our past can rob us for years, why can't the blessings of the past empower us for years? Is remembering a cure-all? No. Can it bless? Yes! - 4's Dr. Paul

Our Western concept of remembering is mostly about recalling the time and place that something happened factually so a statement about it can be labeled as true or false. A Hebraic concept of remembering is quite different and more about re-collecting it in such a vivid way as to put yourself back in that time and space. In other words to re-member it.

Holiday gatherings like Thanksgiving, alumni reunions, even funerals are all times of remembering. Will they be dominated by remembering old wounds, injustices, and the unfairness of losses or by intentionally practicing Holy Re-membering? What if we intentionally recalled our achievements without minimizing their significance…recalled the progress made toward goals rather than how far we still fall short of accomplishing them…recalled the blessings and gifts that others have affirmed in us rather than our shortcomings and self-judgments? What difference could the practice of Holy Re-membering make in your life?

As a pastor friend often said, "You can't keep a bird from flying over your head but your don't have to let it make a nest in your hair." In other words, none of us can control the memories that come into our awareness but we can make choices about the energy we will give to them. In the place of Unholy Re-membering, we can express gratitude in person, by telephone or email or send a note. We can gather with friends and remember the blessings shared. We can choose to practice Holy Re-membering.

Have you listened to some of your BT music recently? Have you shared stories with your BT friends? Those are ways to re-member in holy ways.

Dr. Paul D. Fitzgerald, ©2004 HeartConnexion Ministries, 913-492-8820 Email: DrPaul@heartconnexion.org Website: www.heartconnexion.org